Let God embrace you in the simplest ways ;)

Have you ever wondered, How can I love the wrong person. Hahah probably not, maybe its just me and what I am going through. I really love sitting here right next to the open door smelling the fresh air, listening to the pouring rain, looking up at the lit up sky. I so many times miss the simple pleasures like this, or watching someone smile, or hearing the sweet joy bringing sound of laughter. I get too caught up in dealing with "things." It's truly amazing what you find when you just slow down, I've been thinking thinking thinking, going going going, and such and I feel God has really has been doing so much to just slow me down, and say "Hey child take a break and look at this, do you see this? I love you! ohhh look at this, grasp me, find me, slow down and sit at My feet and feel My peace." Yeah the rain is something that can drown plans, bum us out, ruin things..but it makes for an incredible after math. New things, beautiful smells, green grass and trees, it refreshes and replenishes and you seem to always get a very awesome rainbow. Thats how I choose to look at it tonight, Jesus bring the rain. Let the storms come, the flood water rise, and rain pour down, I will embrace God through it all, seek Him through it all, and keep my eyes on Him. Cause when I'm looking at the pros of the rain and storm the negative things fade in comparison.. just thought I'd sit down and blog this all out, I hope all of you reading this will just slow down and embrace God today, and let the simple things bring you joy and peace, go sit at the feet of Jesus for a while, its an amazing thing. : )

The More I Seek You :)

The more I seek you, the more I find you. The more I find you, the more I love you. I wanna sit at your feet, drink from the cup in your hand. Lay back against you and breath, here your heart beat. This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand. I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming.

Often I get all worked up and caught up in everything, nothing bad just thinking or frantic chaos of life. But somehow God comes along so small and still and grabs my hand and starts to move, if I don't follow then It is so easy for me to be left, but the call is so sweet and loving, so full of His care and passion for me. Its a surrender to the sweet embrace and pull that I am incapable of resisting. Next thing I know He is taking me to a peaceful place, the secret queit place and we just sit there, and I just bask in His presence and sit there at His feet in His peace while He holds my hand.

wow everything all at once?

I don't even know why I'm blogging, Its dumb and chances are no one reads this thing anyway. Its just to get it out, gahhhh I get so annoyed so fast. I fail, I don't spend enough one on one time, or tent time with Jesus, I fail at being a good daughter, I fail at being good enough for my friends some how I suck at life, or thats how they show the story.., I fail at being specific enough, I fail at being godly, i fail at being worldy, ugh seriously i fail at getting a job though im waiting for further plans from God but noo does that stop everyone from saying "if your ever gonna get anywhere your going to have to sacrifice a little chruch.." ahhh drop it and bud out, i know what im doing, ahhah i dont actually but i have a Father who does know what he's doing, God has control its all good, Im fed up, there failure! ugh, yes i know, im not really a failure so don't send me a message saying, " you know your not a failure" im simply venting, and trying to explain how i currently feel. I dropped out, and we all make mistakes, no mines not bigger then yours! there all equal! Im so completely upset with the way everythings going, ps. dont get me wrong im a happy person, God is still my joy but right now im not content or happy. ok? ok. well one this is for sure I looooooove Jesus with all my heart, I melt at the mention of His most awesome holy name, and my mom I love her! shes soooooo not the mom i want, nor anything i really want, yeah thats harsh but she loves me and i love her, we fight so much you'd never know and we suck at life, we mess up so much, we never talk or see eachother but its true love in a poor broken condition, i love my mommy! :) sooo much shes good at making me smile...
and im soo thankful for kimberly and warren no joke, i cant even tell you, common their too amazing, they help me keep it together!! my mom and dad that arnt really mine...but awesome ppl :D i love my youth pastors! tooooooo much, :D :D :)