I was reading all my previous blogs and

I am so very thankful for everything God has been doing, and doing inside of me. The awesome changes He has made, and made within me. I am just so over all, grateful and so completely thankful for everything He IS DOING right now in my life, and in life, and others lives. I have just been thinking about how much has changed, all for good even enduring bad situations. But now I have my own vehicle, my very own mode of transportation! Looking back a few months, I never thought that would ever happen, and fully Thank GOD it did. About two months ago, well somewhere around that I got to spend a full month with many many family members I hadn't seen in many many years! It was oh so wonderful to get to visit all my cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents and my dad! I definitely got to make some even more incredible memories and the awesome part is that God is the one who called me and lead me to go there, and He is the one who worked every little detail out. :) How awesome and incredible! Just sooo happy to see what that month did for me spiritually, and everything. Just how God weirdly enough used each one of my family members to show me something, and teach me something. It was like a well needed, bootcamp-getta-vacation thing. Haaha sounds crazy, was crazy but absolutely AMAZING! I cannot describe the greatness of that month, or the peace, love, joy, happiness, beauty, faith, battle, victory and lose that month brought, with being there. Wow, thats about sums it up for now, hey maybe one day I'll remember something else I needed, or desired to write about this. God bless, and I doooo love you ms, mrs, or mr reader. :)

and all along all I needed was Your love oh Lord.

Bloody stained this pure white cloth, now all thats left is my soul to stand. You did your damage, Ive taken the hits. Felt the bitter cold presence of the ground beneath me. Youve done the most, taken my soul left your scars, battered to boast.
Show me your different, but really you don't care. Lift my head but you'd rather see me drown. Captivated my heart, twisted in such a blissful beautiful way until I handed you the key, then quickly turned and I slowly learned day by day the trap you layed, this game I found, the game you played. For from the start is it true, true that you already knew that the win was yours? Sad is for sure, that your the one actually being played here, satan himself pulling your strings, putting on what seems a fantastic show, the deceiving shceme what is was. I took the blows, took them hard, and from the ground I see who you are, and at grace and brokeness..beauty found such a small hold and held on for life, slowly but steadily gave me hope and started we did, on such a long road. No shelter wasn't present from this recovery, from the words, the pain, the dulling and the shame. It was brutal to say the least, but in all awe the most beautiful thing to happen. Bitter sweet was the role we played, love and deceit was the title to share but I'm just fine I'm breathing clean air. Though healing seems so far, and shattered, worn, and beat down I stand. I make sure the key now fully mine again will never be touched, not another soul I'll trust. You did me good, you broke me down, you sat there and watch me fade, bitter and cold your heart beats just fine, well while mine you merely put through all hell, toture and pain..just to watch me burn, wiggle and squirm under your control. Thanks be to God, He's set me free. ♥


I should finish this someday..but I just had to get this out, okay. So please bare with all the bad grammar, spelling, ect.