Take me as I am. With every imperfection. Or don't take me at all. Either way I am still going to be me. Just a silly, slightly over emotional, passionate, flawed amazing girl. :) I love learning, growing and getting to know the people you thought you already knew. It has got to be like one of the most awesome experiences, it is unsure and uncertain, you are completely open and vulnerable! I love being imperfect, I love me. (take note that I said that) I love that I get sad, and mad that I hurt. I love how unstable my life is sometimes, because then I need someone and I can turn to God and say please take me and start molding me into what You want me to be, who I should be as a girl. Jesus come and invade my happy, confused, loving, awesome, fragile, broken, shaken, somewhat over emotional at times heart of mine!! So I'm just this girl, I happen to be madly in love with Jesus and I cry, have my share of bad days, I have problems too, I love laughing and squinting my eyes, I love the feel of a tear running down my face and how salty it tastes, I love when my hair falls the wrong way and the days when nothing seems to go right, I love how thats life! No pain is deep enough, no wound bad enough to make me fall out of love with Jesus. I love that He is perfect in my imperfections :) I love that I can smile. I dearly love those moments that I find it so vital to just put everything else aside just so I can sing to God. I love when I feel the urge to tell everyone absolutely everything that I am feeling at that very moment, and I love when I stop take a breath in and just smile and let God absorb how happy I am, or overwhelmed and sorrowful; sharing that intimate moment with Christ is what I live for, is what makes all the ups and downs of my roller coaster worth it! I am me, a fragile girl, but I am strong to. God defines me, but I let the mirror and this world get to my swollen heart. I shut my eyes tightly, clench my fist and scream; it exposes all of me, I am me standing before the most High God in a whirlwind of feelings, of sighs and groans and giggles. Timid fragile honestly, precious and rare. Fleeting. I breathe in deep, pause and hold it staying for a moment longer embraces whatever is flowing and rushing through my heart and mind at that second in time. Gone, on to whatever may come next! Exciting, exhilarating! I have to catch my breath. I love letting go and letting God intoxicate my soul and all I am, losing control and coming alive. I love being a city on a hill, I love when I glow. I love when someone I love hurts me. I love how I can't explain this at all, or why I feel this way. I love feeling so illuminated by God's passionate love pulsing through my veins, rushing and flying through my hair, flushing my face. I love how raw this writing is for me, holding nothing back. "The calmer of the sea here in this room with me, so gently welcoming the weakest things in me." oh wonderful love You died for me, the power of Your life is in me! I am not a normal girl, there are times when I look around and question why am I not with a guy, or out hanging with friends? Why am I sitting here singing to the King of kings, sharing a love lavished bliss with Him? Thats what makes me feel alive, that is who I am, I live for this, I love sacrificing so much of what the rest of this world is clinging to all for the One who gave it all for me! ahw, :) Father let your light shine down on me!!! Let it shine down on me, no matter what the day or night may bring. I love what God makes my heart. Everything I've done wrong fades when It's just me vulnerable, stripped, no masks in God's most Holy presence, it's real it's raw and uncut, it's everything I could want. It is incredible, and I have to get all of this out, so I can be me, be this girl and read it later and probably fall more in love with this amazing God that loves you! and me! I get scared and throw up walls, and I want people to actually want to take the time and work on taking them down. I love how it never goes as planned and most of the time I end up disappointed and hurt in tears back at the feet of my Father. I love these lyrics, story me and God:
When the day is done and there's no one else around, while I'm lying here in bed
You're in my heart, You're in my head; You're all I need. There are a million voices calling out my name but You're the One I want to hear so make the others disappear. You are all I need when I'm surrounded, You are all I need if I'm by myself. You fill me when I'm empty, there is nothing else; You're all I need! When the morning comes
and Your mercy is renewed there's a fire in my bones. I'm not afraid to go alone, You're all I need. The sun on my face. I hear You whisper loud. You're still the God that opens seas, every flower, even me. You're all I need, You're all I need. I'm drawn to everything that You do, nothing compares with You :) I can keep going, and you guessed it, I love that! hahah, but I love that I as much as I want to continue pouring myself out, I am going to take a deep breath and smile, and let God comfort me and know that just because that I didn't turn this into a book doesn't mean the worlds crashing, silly girl :)
