I wish people would make up their minds. It's hard on a person when they think you should A then later it's B, then maybe A, no wait.. it's definitely B. Just kidding, we all knew it was that you were supposed to be doing C the whole time. Cool. It's tiring and emotionally irritating. I get set on one way then it's ripped out from underneath and I have to readjust and learn to 'love' the next and master that. It can get a little stressful too. Especially when I literally cannot do what is being asked to be done because of a road block that I can't fix, which then is expected to be fixed no matter what and anything that remotely makes me joyful is put on hold for the time being again.. Fine, I'll find that nowhere to be found way to get it done but you can't change your mind ONCE again. I feel slightly embarrassed that I keep telling myself and trying to make myself believe that life is actually to enjoy just to be let down harder and harder each time. *sigh* I guess that's just the way the ball rolls. I just thought that somewhere along the line I would get to do, partake or be part of something that truly makes me happy; joyful. Maybe one day, maybe one day that day will come, until then I will just have to try to readjust what makes gives me joy and try to change my perspective on things. -_-