you have to go through the rain to get a rainbow :)

I woke up this morning and honestly I was ehoman what lovely weather we have had for the past four days. I actually really love the rain, but its put a damper on plans for this weekend. I mean don't get me wrong, I had lots of fun running and playing in the rain the last couple days, and last night, but I always feel bummed out when its cloudy for too long. But anywho I walked outside this morning and I had just got done spending some quiet time with God, and to my surprise it was beautiful out, still soggy, rainy, cold, and cloudy, but the grass is sooooo green and some Beautiful flowers have bloomed in the yard, and that made me think about how you don't gain strength if you don't endure anything, because theres nothing to grow from. Flowers arn't going to grow with only sunlight, they need a break (night) which is like a dark period, they need rain, to help them grow, to give them what they need, we need to endure trials and hard situations, they help us grow. We of course ultimately cannot do it without God, but He will bring us through them, and show us more and more as we endure, thats why you have to keep your head up high, why you have to keep pushing even when you can't and keep on treking along when all your strength is gone, God will give you the strength to keep on, "You can do all things through Christ who gives you the strength" Philippians 4:13

fasting.

So I've been thinking about flesh desire a lot lately, I have a burning desire to overcome the flesh, to die to flesh, through Christ all things are possible. From what I know, sissy is doing a fast where she only eats fruits and veggies, water. I am not trying to copy her or whatever, I have just been pushed to try to die to flesh and maybe your the one whos like, you should wait and do this if God has led you to. K well I really don't think God has lead me.. but I do know that I can do all things through Christ! and this is one I want to do, to challenge myself and hopefully to benefit my relationship with God. Sis is doing it for 40 days I believe, but Im shooting for 30 days, maybe I'll end up less or more. Im like ew just water, 30 days? Im nooooot gonna make it. But I do want to do this to deny what the sinful flesh wants.. we'll see what happens.

texting cut off or not

I have been thinking about the flesh, and the desires of the flesh. I find it ever so challenging to fight the flesh, and deny its wants. I was thinking about sissy, and such when I was thinking about texting. I want to challenge myself and stop texting I was thinking a month! but its so easy to give in! I could just start calling people! that could work but I don't know if I should tell people, or just not reply and let them think im ignoring them! lol. I suppose I should pray about this tonight then figure life out. I will update this later.

heck of a night.

Tonight was pretty great, we went for a good long walk. Then me and the girls went up to Boss Hogs for din din. It was a good lesson learned, you need paitence because life doesn't always go as smoothe as planned. Things arise and you must be equiped to deal with many different situations. It definitely makes life much easier if you have learned how to have paitence with a good mood added as well, then those tough "I just wana beat that person" situations are more smoothe sailing and less intense. :) Then we came home, me and Cassidy rode in the back of the truck. We layed down and could not stop laughing, seriously then the water tank peed on us. Poor Kaafree looked like John Wayne. Hahahaa. But then she got into some nice jammys!

family and such.

Isn't it funny how fast we move on, how easy it seems to forget. I have been thinking about all my family, it seems IMPOSSIBLE to keep up with them and the babies. They keep coming, one after another. I don't even know how many cousins I currently have. I wish I could hold a personal relationship with each member of my family. I love them all so much, im so glad we have facebook and myspace or I'd never hear a thing about or from them. Its sad, I am sure I am only thought of every great once in a while if even. I would love to have the money to go see them all! and spend a week with each cousin or aunt, uncle, grandparent. Speaking of grandparents I see them enough I guess, then maybe the next closest my mom's and dad's brothers and sisters and their children, but that seems to be it. My personal goal for this next year is to go see as many of them as I can!

face it life happens to us all at the most unconveinent times.

Life really is indescribable. When I think about all I learn, and go through. The ups and downs, and inbetweens. Feelings, moods. Smiles and heartaches. It all puts me in awe, and I sometimes wonder why it all is the way it is. Thats where I have to just trust God and that He really knows what He's doing. I seem to always end up saying "man o man I hope you know what your up to." Cause I sure don't know what the heck I'm doing. I find more each day that I cannot escape growing up. It happens. I can still stay a kid, but the maturing that is necessary must happen and I must faces the cold raw sometimes unwanted facts of life! I must try I will fall, I must learn and grow. It is going to happen whether I am ready or not. The important part is that everytime I fall, trip or stumble I get back up and keep pushing on with God. I must never put myself before Him, it does not work! I know. I can't forget that He the most wonderful creator gave me this life, so I must give it back to Him and do as He asks. I sadly feel as if my spark of passion for God has dimmed and the deepest love faded a bit in the past couple months. I have dwittled amongst the world and its faulty temporary past pleasures. That only end up leaving a bitter taste and empty awkward feeling with me and then I come to and re-realize that God will always be the only one that gives me life, and pleasure that does not fail to succeed. I really have come to understand and embrace in the strangest ways that I am nothing without God, and neither are you! I don't understand why this ticks people off and offends them, It is undoubtedly one of the most beautiful things to know we are nothing with out Him, maybe people should drop the pride and come to the same realization. The best part is finding what we are and can be through Him, aw at least the beauty that comes from being a child of the King!

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