Family :)

First off I'm going to get it out that school, well lets just say things are going fine. Just fine, It still can be challenging at times but I have GOD! Thats all I'm ever gonna need in life, thats the truth regardless of what you say, think, or what your opinion is :) And the whole reason I'm blogging is because I'm going to try, key word try to attempt to put this feeling of love, fun, happiness, healing, joy, hope, peace, laughter, pain, comfort, contentment, life lived to the fullness, the indescribable feeling I am over run with when I'm around and in the presence of my family! I have come to realize that I love them, I *truly* love them, no matter what their doing, where their at and going, who they love, how close to GOD they are, no matter what I love them, I find contentment to just be in their presence, they fill me with a healing, teaching joy!! And honestly no matter where any of us(me + family) are at in our lives when were together life is good, and every things okay. It does not matter what we have going on, what storms were going through, its like they are walking through it with me...(they arnt but its like they are,) I have soooo much enjoyed just loving and being LOVED by all my dearest family the past three weeks, its been TOO incredible to be with them and catch up!! Family is a friendship so close that dispite all the differences and dispite the miles separating you the instant you come together you conect on indescribable levels and its a relationship that you can see eachother once every 4 years and even if thats only for 1 day its the best day of your life, its like you have never spent time apart! and getting to 'share' past stories to stir up that joy and laughter(you know the kind that brings a warmth and fuzzy good feeling like no other, the kind that feels like it just mends and heals the heart for some reason!! :) its amazing) I can't EVEN TRY to explain how much I have treasured this time spent here with the ones I loooooove, I loved laughing until the tears of life, joy, happiness, and comfort ran down our cheeks.. I know, that they, yes they are ALWAYS here for me...not a thing in the world that will change that. :) Im so happy...

everyone needs to read this, and think about it.

Lord of glory, make us worthy to possess your name. Lord of glory, make us worthy to possess your name. And give us a new name. And call us your people, God. And give us a new name.

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. You will live in the land I gave to your forefathers; you will be my people and I will be your God.”
(Ezekiel 36:26-28)

And through all of this, there is nothing, absolutely nothing, no fear, no insecurity, no doubt, no hesitation that will ever, ever stop us. Because we are the son of the living God. Because we are the children of the almighty. Because we are the residence of the kingdom of heaven and we are soldiers in an army of the immortal. And when we speak light, light happens. And when we speak healing, healing happens. And when we speak truth, truth happens. And when we go take what we found to a dead world, we will see it come to life again. When we take what we found to a hopeless world, we will see hope come back, we will see the hearts of our world start beating again and we will see the colour come back in peoples faces and absolutely nothing will ever stop that and mountains will move before us and oceans will pour before us and the dead will raise before us and the world will know that our God is a God that heals, that our God is a God that lives, that are God is a God that loves unlike anyone has ever felt before because we are fearless, because we are his hand, because we are his feet, forever and ever..

what if we tried to love more like this?

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.8Love never fails.
- 1Corithians 13:4-8.

I love reading this, it is always a good example and reminder..My love tends to get selfish, and self seeking..and this always recaptures my heart. :)

theres nothing worse then being frustrated with no solutions and no hope.

I am told not to worry, its okay try your best, do your hardest you'll be just fine. It that the truth or is that merely somthing to lift my spirits and make me feel better? One of the most frustrating things ever is having a learning disability and not even knowing how to cope with it, I just grow more and more frustrated and irritated that I have such problems understanding. I can't even really go to my parents about my troubles because of the lack of paitence, they quickly grow tired of trying to help me when nothing seems to work. I am pretty overwhelmed right now, Im not even sure of and aware of all the learning disfunctions I have. Im only aware of very little. Its devastating when the simplest tasks are huge mountains to you, and neither does it help when everyone is looking at you like your stupid..when you just don't know where to start climbing at...I myself don't even know where to look for help when I'm not even sure of what Im trying to get help for and I come to a place where I feel split, do I run to God and just pray or venture out into more frustration and a bigger overwhelming mess and try to solve this, or at least get by with some sorce of help? Running to God is the only option that offers peace and comfort..but will it be enough. And yes I find it horrible that I even ask If God will be enough..but the way this world is has made me feel as if MY GOD is not enough, that I must run to the 'normal' sorce. of whatever that may be...finding help...understanding whats wrong with me...I don't know. I know that its upseting when all I can do is litteraly sit here and cry...LITTERALLY feeling lost and confused with NO HOPE, ABSOLUTELY NO HOPE. I don't know what to do or where to run, besides God...and even then I'm filled with doubt of is this gonna work?? I need to stop putting my GOD in a box and deciding what and what-not He maker of me can handle. I guess I'm just going to pray until I get a break through? If you read this PLEASE please I ask and beg..pray for me...you can decide what to pray for or about involving all this..cause I am left unable to pray anything except me crying out for Gods help! hmmm, yeah I had to get this out.

little story time

I just heard a story from my sister. She was doing laundry and was washing her bra. With this bra you can take off the straps, and unhitch it to where both sides of it are seperate. She went ahead and put it into the wash and went to finish cleanning her room. Well my dad came along and the wash had ended so he started to take the clothes out and put them in the dryer. Then he pulled out 1 piece of the bra...then the other side...and then well a strap. He called my sisters name and was like 'ummm kendall I think the washer ate your bra, its in pieces! =O' then she told him that she took it apart like that...LOL I dont know..i think you had to have just heard it at random like i did...cuz it just CRACKED ME UP for some reason...

I will wait for who God has even when it is hard.

I just heard thee most coolest thing today, haah.
Attraction can make you feel like its the 'right person'.
Well I thought it was cool anyways, just because you 'like' someone
and/or are attracted to someone doesnt mean their 'the one'

wrote this two days ago.

Im going to be honest. I know who I am, but I lost that and the sad part. In a week I managed to do that. Just one week, I managed to forget what I was all about, I managed to stray off the straight and narrow, I walking this beautiful path started reaching out and picking up things..still walking but becoming more and more captured by the objects I was holding. Day by day they started to become more important, they started becoming my focus instead of the journey and the destination; my goal being my focus..instead of letting my life revolve around this Beautiful God; Creator, lover who has made me and created me instilled with great purpose I was concentrated on other things. Im not the person I used to be, I've come to realize its true..you see how strong you are, who you are, ect. when you leave home, when you leave those little guidence lines...aka a youth pastor, church, godly friends, the people expecting you to act the 'way' your supposed to, once you are on your own your true colors show, it seems like it makes you or breaks you..i'll be the first to say I Broke, I bended and swayed in the change of life, people, atmosphere...And it used to be...There ain't nothing that can't be done by me and God, ain't nobody gonna come in between me and God. Early in the morning talking it over; Me and God. Late at night talking it over Me and God. You could say we're like two peas in a pod; Me and God. We're a team; Me and God. He's the one I lean on when life gets hard; me and God. We're a team; Me and God. and now Im finding my way back home again, back into the arms of Jesus..to the heart of God once again, its a tough journey..I find myself side tracked many times in one day. I still love God more then anyone could imagine, but I am not showing it..just holding it in a box inside, I still played the role and tryed to make people see, but I got pretty caught up in "love" and a guy, I never thought I, that I'd be the one to almost lose who I was and Lose my closeness with God over a relationship, a possible marriage? ugh, but now I have unleashed my passion for Jesus, my deep love for God, but God has had to do a lot of reparing and He had to help show me how to get my fire burning up HOT HOT agian, and now He's day-by-day teaching me how to keep it going brighter and hotter then ever..I have my heart set on one thing, and one thing alone: GOD and that fuels my passion and love...for Him...thats what will keep me running this race..its a wake up call, anyONE can fall.